Sunday, April 7, 2013

Awkward Online Message of the Week


I was reading your profile, and think that you are intelligent, pretty, athletic, and have a biting sense of humor....a lethal combination.

I'm equally sarcastic, am career-driven, enjoy long walks on the beach, and most importantly...am handsome.

I'd like to get to know more about you, preferably over a few drinks sometime. I mean, that is the reason we both joined this site, no?

But beforehand, I need to know why you thought you could break the rules and list 8 things you could live without (oysters & lobster count as two, in addition to family & friends).



Brosef, let me address these four disjointed pararaphs:

  1. This is all true, except I'm not lethal. I don't actually take people's lives. I don't know if you're into that shit, but that's weird. 
  2. You're definitely not handsome AT ALL so I'm going to second guess the other three BS remarks you threw in there. 
  3. You'd like to be inside of me, you mean. There is nothing else I could "get to know" besides how boring you are and you already exhibited that throughout this entire message you wasted 2 hours writing. 
  4. Seriously? Look up the definition of witty comments if you're going to take a stab at one. Save yourself the embarrassment next time. 

K thanks bye!!


xoxo, G

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